Do you trust your Thai Girlfriend?

Do you trust your Thai Girlfriend?

The number of Australian men having Thai girlfriends or wives has increased substantially in recent years. It probably has everything to do with the increase in international travel, cheap holidays and the internet – all making the chances of meeting a speical Thai lady, and falling in love, getting her an Australian partner visa, and taking her home to Australia all the more easy.

A question that seems to be recurring with many married Aussies though, is whether or not they can trust their Thai girlfriends espeically when they are not together. This leads to all kinds of paranoid behaviour on the part of the men, shipping the girls back to their village, paying for them to live in a different part of the coutnry (away from the bars) or even hiring private detectives to check on them in their absense.

If you’ve ever asked your best mate to go down to your favourite bar to see if your ‘girl’ is turning tricks with another client, you’ll understand what I’m saying.

So how do you tell if your girlfriend is geniune or if  she is just a Thai bar girls looking for an easy way out of poverty?

If suspicioun and jealousy are eating you, as you sit at home reading this, the chaces are, your intuition is probably right. When things don’t seem to add up, and 2 + 2 seems to equal 5, something is usually wrong, and you’re suspisions are proably RIGHT.

If you’re at home in Australia, while your girlfriend is in Thailand, and you’re  concerned by her behavour, or by what she’s telling (or not telling) you. there are several red flags to look out for.

Lies, lies, lies

Even the sweetest, most innocent Thai girl can be a brilliantly deceptive and adept liar. the trick to catching her out is to look for obvious red flags. (Obvious once you’ve been exposed to them…).

The first usually concerns money.

She may say that she has no job, but on the surface seems to be able to afford such things as a nice phone. She may say she is studying, or that someone sends money to her. This is a particularly obvious red flag when he sends it every month. She may have to go to Western Union to pick it up, or she may have several bank accounts.

The second ovious sign will concern her phone.

She might have two phones, or two separate phone numbers. She won’t let you near it, and it’s never far away from her… and always ON.

Yet, when you’re in Australia, strangely you can’t get hold of her. Her phone is off, or she is unavable to talk. She left her phone charger at home, or she is going to do a 5 day Buddhist meditation retreat – no phones allowed! All of these are signs that you are being decieved.

A third sign that she’s lying

Will often be that she tries to divert all the wrong doing onto you. If you find another guys number in her phone, YOURE the bad guy for looking in her phone. If you catch her out in a lie, YOURE the bad guy for checking up on her, and so on. It’ll seriously mess with your mind if you let it.

Trusting your Thai Girlfriend

Despite the various warnings and expose’s on the internet about Thai girls, there is still a sucker born every minute. While it’s very difficult to generalise about an entire nationality of women, it is fair to say that lying in Thailand is much more culturaly accepted, and they are much better at it than us.

The lies get much more fantastic and outlandish the closer you get to the bar scene, but it’s even fair to say a ‘good Thai fgirl’ with a fairly decent education and a worldy view of the world would still rather lie than tell the truth if the sitauation arises where she feels she has to.

Asian culture has a concept of  face, and it can be the cause of a lot of misunderstandings, complications and plain lies, maybe because we don’t understand it, or ‘get it’, or maybe just because we don’t have such a concept and we’re taught that lying is bad. Either way, if you’re not prepared to live with the lies, you may need to get to the bottom of the situaion and get her to fess up.

Although not 100% foolproof, the following is a set of guidelines you can follow to gauge if your Thai girlfriend can be trusted or not.

An additional point to note here is how I feel that many of the negative traits can also apply to women in general.

Untrustworthy Thai girls generally:

  • Work in massage parlors, bars or nightclubs
  • Go out and stay out till very late at night
  • Often reject calls from you and do not reply to IMs or emails
  • Lie about reasons they need money and try to ask you for financial aid
  • Have a huge circle of friends who are working in massage parlors, bars and nightclubs (bad girls)

Good thai girls and bar Thai girls are quite often easy to spot, once you know what to look for, despite her telling you she’s a ‘good girl’, you might not always believe her.

However, do try to remember that these are only guidelines and meeting one of the above criteria is not enough to guarantee that she is an untrustworthy girl.  Nonetheless, if  she meets several or more of the above points, then take it as a very severe warning-sign and try to stay on the alert.

The most important thing is to trust what your instincts tell you.

Decent Thai girls:

Decent thai girls might still lie. But they are more likely to lie to save your feelings from being hurt, or to save you from embarrasement, than they are to entagle you in a web of deceipt about sponsors and money.

Generally, meeting a decent traditional Thai girl is pretty much the same as meeting and dating a decent girl anywhere else in the world. And apart from the language barrier, it is similar in many aspects to dating in your own country. (Although Thai culture and Thai ‘thinking’ might be quite different to ours, at times. Cultural differences are a problem that can be ironed out with some adaptation and compromise.  Adaptability and a willingness to accept and learn are vital in succeeding in a relationship with a Thai girlfriend.)

In conclusion

If you don’t know what your Thai girlfriend is doing on a day to day basis, or if she’s telling you something that doesn’t add up, trust your juegement, especfially if you’re not usually a suspicious or jealous person. Many of your frustrations will stem from good reasons, more often than not, though you might not always like what your intuition is telling you.


On September 15, 2010, posted in: Marriage by
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