Thai-Farang Relationships

Thai-Farang Relationships

Some relationships succeed and some relationships fail. This is the same between two individuals anywhere, but the chances of your Thai-farang relationship failing can be much lessened if you go into the relationship knowing a few things from the beginning. For starters, communication and language barriers are going to be much more common in your Thai-farang relationship (unless she speaks perfect English, or you have learnt Thai). There are going to also be some glaringly obvious cultural differences too; There may be arguments about money and responsibility towards (her) family, or trust issues. The concept of  ‘face’ is another one that can cause problems.

The  majority of successful relationships between Thai women and Australian men are built on mutual trust, sincerity, openness,  and honesty. Aussies generally, tend to value these traits and will often site them as being important to them in a relationship. A Thai lady would probably answer the same when asked the same question, but she may also have extra requirements that you hadn’t considered…

A Thai woman, might for example, indicate the importance of her man to support her and her family. Thai woman can be unashamedly materialistic and they look for a partner who can support them, and invariably their family. It’s not unusual for some Thai women to send money home to her family, and even to support them wholly. Therefore it’s fairly safe to say that support, that is financial support from you is a given, if you are to embark on a relationship with a Thai lady.

Depending on the girls’s status it may also be important that you exude the outwards signs of being wealthy too. The more hi-so the girl – the more she will be looking for a handsome, wealthy husband – who has a couple of designer suits, the flashy car, and a lot of cash! Of course material wealth will always go a long way in attracting a partner, that’s true anywhere, but in Thailand fleecing money out of unsuspecting (or naive) westerners can sometimes take on the characteristics of a national sport!

If it’s true love you’re after, attracting a girlfriend on your personality alone (rather than on your material wealth) might be slightly more difficult, but it’s certainly not impossible. And many successful Thai-farang relationship stand the test of time.

Communication

Communication is key to any lasting relationship. But how can you communicate when there are language barriers set into the relationship in the first place? Should you learn to speak Thai or should she learn English? Will you forever communicate using a kind of English-Thai hybrid language, with a few gestures and a bit of sign language thrown in? Perhaps you’re one of those guys who doesn’t actually want to talk to his missis anyway, that’s what mates are for after all, and a good yarn down at the pub is a lot more entertaining than a conversation with the wife about… well those things that women always seem to want to talk about.

It’s horses for courses, but if you have the time and inclination, and depending on whether you chose to live in Thailand, or to take your Thai girlfriend to Australia, one (or both) of you is going to have to put in a bit of effort into studying the other’s language. Thai is by no means an easy language to pick up. It’s tonal, and many words sound the same to our untrained ears. It’s also easy for us to make mistakes when attempting to speak Thai, and your Thai girlfriend will either be in hysterics at your botched attempts to speak her language, or fuming, as you mistakenly call her a buffalo. Attempting to overcome the language barrier can be a spicy added extra, that will give depth and sweetness to your relationship. So instead of seeing it as an impediment, see it as a fun challenge, and once you’ve both done your homework, you can being to proceed in communicating with your Thai girl about the deeper things in life.

Hobbies & Interests

It’s quite normal and natural for us westerners to have many hobbies and interests. Be it sport, or travel, the great outdoors or photography, there are generally loads of things that we take a keen interest in pursuing. This is not always the case with Thais. they don’t often like to try things outside of their comfort zone. they are not keen on being in the sun – which puts a lot of sports or other ‘outdoorsy’ recreations pursuits out of the picture. And, heaven forbid you try to get to Thai girlfriend to get mucky! Camping, pottery, paining, walking in muddy boots will be responded to with a look that seems to suggest you are quite mad for even suggesting it!

Instead, when asked what their hobbies are, the average Thai gal might reply, ‘shopping’, ‘eatin’ or ‘sleeping’.

Watching TV is also a national pastime, with the Thai soaps attracting high viewing figures. So, it’s not uncommon to find that once your Thai girlfriend gets comfortable, her idea of a great afternoon spent together in front of the TV. Very often when dating or trying to settle in with a Thai lady, the farang man might complain about her lounging around the house being lazy. He perhaps doesn’t realise that his job is to get her back into action and it’s not always as easy task. Take the initiative and introduce her to some new things. It could be something of  a challenge, but it could be a lot of fun.

Respect

Thai women generally value a good reputation and seek to better their own social standing, and that of their family within their society. They may do this outwardly, by purchasing a big house, or a flash car, but it also goes a lot deeper, and is expressed in subtle ways too. Face and respect represent reputation and standing in Asian society, so your  Thai girlfriend will do her best to protect her identity and her public face (and that of yours and her family, too) at all times. If pushed to the limits, a Thai lady would most likely blame you for a faulty relationship than accept any fault of her own, so be ready to be the scapegoat even when something that went wrong, was actually her fault.

Know that she is probably going to believe in ghosts and spirits, and strange superstitions. She will abide with Buddhist teachings, some of which seem quite bizarre to us. She may not wash her underwear in a washing machine, or hang her clean undies on the washing line higher than her clothes. She might not sweep the house at night for fear of bad luck, or get a haircut on a Wednesday. She might shave her babies head, and put the hair under a tree, so that the child doesn’t grow up to be stubborn…

Be patient. Be kind. And and be sensitive with your words. Do not try to disgrace your Thai girlfriend or make fun of her in public. But be the kind and generous ‘strong’ man that she expects, and offer her offer her possibilities and opportunities to explore, grow and develop as a person. And, above all, offer her love and respect the differences between your and her culture and beliefs. that’s the only way to have a long-lasting Thai-farang relationship and a lifetime of happiness.

If you’d like more information or advice that will help your Thai girlfriend get a visa to Australia contact us using the form below.

Share

On August 12, 2010, posted in: Dating by
7 Responses to “Thai-Farang Relationships”
Leave a Reply